Match Report

Offley & Stopsley II's 118 all out Vs Biddenham II's 265-4 ; 9th May

OSCC II's Lost by 147 runs

The Ballad of Biddenham

‘Twas on the very ninth of May

To Biddenham they did roam

They didn’t have a bloody hope

They should have stayed at home

The plucky little underdogs got lost along the way

The hosts decided they would bat

So Cooper’s troops went out to field

And pretty quickly it was clear it would be a long old day

But Brodie struck an early blow

And ran the opener out

He was a lucky so-and-so

For it was not much of a shout

But after that the runs quickly began to flow

The bowlers gave it everything and had a real go

They gave it their utmost, I hear they tried and tried

But the fact they were so hopeless meant they could not stem the tide

Offley enjoyed a little luck when two opted to retire

Alas the latest batsmen heaped fuel upon the fire

Biddenham smashed the ball to all parts

Cooper and Hum went round the ground

The fielders moved like old farts

Their bodies creaked with every sound

Finally the carnage ended

Young Asif picked up two

The rest had one between them

It simply wouldn’t do

The home team might have scored a thousand

They settled for 265

But when Offley went out to bat

Their hopes were not alive

Brodie went looking for a flying start

He struck a mighty two

But then he lost his off stump

To leave Offley in the pooh

Keeley and Lunney came together

They faced a hopeless task

And when Keeley went for 13

It was too much of an ask

Hunter batted bravely until Lunney ran him out

Then Hum took one on the finger

It made him scream and shout

The blood was made down under

It stained the wicket red

Hum staggered off to hospital

They feared he might drop dead

Lovell went for nothing and Asif fell for 3

Then the Lawman mowed down Lunney

Cooper’s team was history

Coombes became the latest man to not get off the mark

Then Law joined the procession as everything went dark

With the last pair at the wicket, it was time to make a stand

But Page went down quite meekly

He did not do but died

And his tame dismissal left Cooper high and dry

Offley lost by 147

The maximum snooker break

It was a crushing hammering

Another supreme heartache

But the boys are back next Sunday

They’ll take on Preston Thirds

Maybe this time Cooper’s luck will change

It can’t get any worse!