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Norfolk Tour Cricket Tour 2007
In previous years the club has undertaken various ventures to exotic locations such as Exeter, Torquay, Bournemouth, Nottingham and the never to be forgotten, never to be repeated jaunt to Minehead in 2005.
Along the way we've seen sights that can never be expunged from the memory no matter how hard we try. Phil Gourd sleepwalking, Balmar Baines with sleeping with his finger up his ar*e, Darrne Lunney playing and missing 11 consecutive deliveries before being cleaned up on the twelth, we've seen Darrne crash and burn spectacularly in the nightclubs of Nottingham, Dave Bridgland selected last for the first time in his life for a drinking game and subsequently career drunkenly away into the somerset night. Bobby Boatwright resplendant in his pulling cardigan, Chris Latino stopping a certain six with his chest and of course Mathew Freeman failing to take a wicket or score a runduring an entire tour. We've also sat around disconsolantly at last orders with the shutters going up around town and wondered which clown decided that Minehead, complete with it's 11pm curfew would be the ideal place for a week of cricket and alcohol abuse.
In 2007 we are heading east for the first time and are off to the glamorous destination of Great Yarmouth for games against Tas Valley, Lowestoft, Norwich and Brooke. Without being too defeatist there is a good chance of some serious drubbings along the way. (Brooke finished top of the Norfolk Alliance Division 1 last season while we finished top of Saracens League Div 11 - a case of Norfolking chance!).
|Tour||20 Aug||Tas Valley CC||A||14:00||Won by 5 Wkts||Match Report||Scorecard|
|Tour||21 Aug||Lowestoft Town CC||A||14:00||Won by 4 runs||Match Report||Scorecard|
|Tour||22 Aug||Norwich CC||A||14:00||Lost by 37 runs||Match Report||Scorecard|
|Tour||23 Aug||Brooke CC||A||14:00||Match Cancelled due to rain||Match Report||Scorecard|
We are staying at the Star Hotel in Great Yarmouth, parts of which date back to the 17th century - around the same time Darrell Cooper was beginning to rack up the first wickets of his illustrious career.
Following the runaway success of the Club Court during the 2005 Minehead Tour (drinking together at midday at least guaranteed somewhere would be open), the fines committee will again be in session in the hotel bar prior to the games against Lowestoft, Norwich and Brooke to rule on any particular instances of incompetence, ineptitude and outstanding crassness. The procedure will be the same as always. Charges can be brought by anyone against anyone. Any spurious claims may result in the accuser themselves being fined for wasting the courts time. Any player found guilty by the incorruptable Mr Justice Tattersall will have the option of paying the 50p fine or appealing against his sentence and risk having the fine doubled in the event of a failed plea to High Court Judge, Mr Justice Barker.
The first charge was issued on Sat 14th July when Mathew Freeman inquired as to the weather forecast for the tour - 37 days early. He is not encouraged to appeal.
Darren Lunney Appreciation Night
In honour of Darren's impeccable sense of style, the entertainment committee has nominated Tuesday as Darren Lunney Appreciation night.
Players are encouraged to don the most outragously tastless shirts, unsuitable trousers, footwear to venture out intoi the Great Yarmouth night to do battle with Dashing Darren, the Durham Don Juan, the German Geordie in the style stakes. Extra points will be awarded for man made fibres and shiny fabrics. Darren himself will decide which player has emulated him best.
The Simon Warrington Invitation Open
The annual pitch and put will be staged on the Thursday morning. Mark Tattersall is the defending champion and has already pain a trip to Yarmouth this year to walk the course and compile a yardage chart, rumour has it that he has also bribed the owner to give him a proper ball too.
The finest quality cricket shirts have been obtained for the tour complete with squad numbers and nicknames. These were chosed after lengthy consideration and were designed to cause as much seething resentment as possible on the part of the wearer and amusement for everyone else. At this point a public apology should be made to Chris Latino in advance for his shirt. The shirts should serve as a permanant reminder of an idyllic week in Yarmouth. They could of course be used to wash the car, the choice is yours. The cost is £15 each.
In the event of heavy and prolonged rain and cancellation of fixtures, players are encouraged to drink heavily and irresponsibly. Be warned, the disastrous rain wrecked tour to Torquay in 1999 showed thata great deal onf money is required and a spare liver.