2012 Season Review

The Srinivas Lie

A long long time ago
I can still remember how that cricket used to make me smile
And I thought that we had a chance
Despite Bexfield’s leg-side stance
And maybe we’d win something in fine style
But February made me shiver
I curled up like Tatts’ liver
Bad news on the pavilion step
For Freeman was no Johnny Depp
I can't remember if I cried
When he claimed that he’d hurt his side
But once again I knew he’d lied
The day the cricket died

So, lie, lie, come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie

The rain poured down from above
Then we gave Lilley a good hard shove
But Clifton came and had a go
And they beat us at a stroll
That defeat left us in a hole
Freeman’s loss was a surprising blow
Especially cos he’s not too slim
And he’s never been to the gym
Ickleford gave us the blues
Against Boxmoor we did lose
At Wheathampstead Tatts got a duck
Though all our batsmen they did suck
I didn’t give a flying fuck
The day the cricket died
I started singin’

So, lie, lie, come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie

Now Keeley he got on the phone
Told Srini, make sure the gaffe’s not blown
Said to Srini, come play with me
Just make sure that you’re not seen
By players from the other team
If you’re asked say it wasn’t me
Keep your gob shut you dopey clown
Cos if you don’t we’ll get sent down
I guess we hadn’t learned
We said Sanjay Roy had returned
The league found out about our lark
The view they took was pretty dark
And Lunney got smashed round the park
The day the cricket died
We were singin’

So, lie, lie come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie

Then we played Henlow on a belter
It was so hot you had to swelter
And Freeman did his sums too fast
He counted wrong the silly arse
It turned into a total farce
When Austin lost it at the last
With that loss we saw our doom
Our hopes as distant as the moon
There wouldn’t be another chance
It all came down to circumstance
No Offley players shone in the field
With every dropped catch Freeman squealed
His lack of leadership revealed
The day the cricket died
We started singing

So, lie, lie come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie

Then nine of us were left in one place
With Brodie lost in his own space
And Keeley off the field again
So Matt be nimble, Matt be quick
Please don’t tell us you feel sick
If you’re not hurt then don’t pretend
Then Bexfield succumbed to age
His runs dried up in a tired rage
The season went to hell
Freeman couldn’t finish his spell
It was never all right on the night
The scorecards were a tragic sight
The opposition pissed themselves with delight
The day the cricket died
They were singing

So, lie, lie come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie

I met a girl who sang the blues
I asked her for the Luton News
There was nothing good for the paper to say
There was no appearance by Steve Hoar
No good batsman to come in at four
And loads of players said they wouldn’t play

All our batsmen they scored nowt
And relegation was of no doubt
Then the League wise men had spoken
Fifty points docked was no small token
Then the three men who got out the most
Bex and Hook and Keeley’s Holy Ghost
Found nothing left for them to toast
The day the cricket died
And they were singin’

So, lie, lie come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie

At the end of the year the Club took on a shine
When we lost to St Joes and the weather did smile
Them good old boys were there having fun in the sun
Hoping next year will be a summer of fun . . . . . .

They were singin’
Lie, lie come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie

They were singin’
Lie, lie come on Srini lie
We had a bevy, nothing heavy
The Colts were hung out to dry
And them Saracens boys had a glint in their eye
Singin’ the league will never believe that lie
The league just won’t believe that lie